Missing mum and dad too much??!!?

Please, go visit a therapist. Maybe you don't realize this, but it's not OK to be miserable every day, and to be scared all the time. You deserve a happy life, and happiness is not where your life is leading to right now. Therapists are professionals and they deal with people with similar problems daily. They will know how to help you. Look, you've done so much, you've been such a fighter and so helpful to those in need, even though it wasn't easy at all. Why should you suffer? It is so unfair. Noble people like you deserve better. Please, don't spend one more day in pain. You don't deserve it! And you will see, as soon as you talk to someone, after that first session, you will feel much better, and everything will be OK. A therapist can show you how to look at the bright side of life and how to deal with the difficulties. Just remember: you've helped so much, you deserve a somebody to help you a little to be better :)